I’ve talked a lot about my ‘getting stuck’ time in my life, burnt out and addicted to DOING and pleasing others. Of course I had no idea at the time that’s what was going on. I just felt flat. Like really flat.
Brene Brown talks about an ‘unravelling’ being that “desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re supposed to” and the more I sit with it, the more the word really fits for me.
Like a slow ‘awakening’, where life has been on autopilot for so long I didn’t’ even notice how disconnected from me I’d become.
“The universe is not short on wake up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.” Brene Brown
I wonder if you can relate to this? My wake up calls got bigger and bigger, like adding more ait to a balloon…the busting of it only happening when I finally admitted what it was I most needed.
I’d love to be able to say that was that. I stopped. Fixedsome stuff. And now I’ve kept going and life is dandy.
In truth, I’ve learnt that living the life I want is much more about a practice. It’s a verb. A constant. The things I want in my life don’t just show up. They come through conscious living, conscious choices, conscious actions. Each and every day.
And as with any practice we have in our lives – the more guidance, clarity, steps and support we have the better, faster, more easeful and graceful our journey is.
And yes, in some ways I really do believe my life is kinda ‘dandy’ now. 😉 But it’s not what you probably think. I don’t wake up each day free of self-doubt and full of gung-ho. I do wake up grateful. I do wake up knowing I have a toolkit at all times to return to – of things that light me up, words I need to hear, people I can go to for support and guidance. And I do wake up knowing with absolutely certainty that if I want things to feel different then I must do something different. That in itself is one of the most empowering feelings (if at times daunting)….
What got me my most stuck in the first place is pretending that everything was okay. I just kept doing the same thing over and over again and told myself ‘this feeling will go away’. ‘Keep it to yourself’. ‘You’re not supposed to be unhappy, look at how much you’ve achieved’. And so I would keep hitting snooze…
My big wake up call came in the form of – depletion, feeling lost, migraines, digestive issues, loss of passion for my job and not really giving my all to my relationship – but you don’t have to wait for that kinda call before you do something different.
When I did finally wake up I had to start finding ways to do things differently. Guidance, steps, systems, mentors, wellness practitioners, walks. Anything I could do that was different to what I had been doing up to that point. And as a result I’ve gradually come to know the tools that work best for me. My personal soul kit. For finding my way back to me when I need it most.
Your wake up call doesn’t have to be as big as mine!
We’ve created what I wish I’d had back when I kept hitting snooze. An encouraging and supportive hand to jolt me back into my living rather than my existing. Laid out simply. Doable. And with instant relief of some kinda to know, okay I gotcha. I can do this. I’ll just keep exploring… this way… a different way. And that yep, things really can feel different.
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