It’s the end of the day, your breath is feeling shallow, your chest is tight. You’re thinking about the ten things you forgot to do and frantically writing a list at your desk.
You were meant to have logged off half an hour ago to meet friends for dinner. But you figured if you could just finish “this one last thing” then tomorrow would feel so much more balanced.
No doubt the running dialogue in your head is also “if I could just get a bit more balance back in my life”. Or “maybe if I can just get to bed earlier tonight then…”.
It’s like we’re telling ourselves that all we need to do is find just that one little puzzle piece and once it slots into place “balance” will be fully restored.
And I really do get it.
I’ve had an interesting relationship with balance.
For a long time I probably didn’t even believe it was something I needed. The word didn’t even filter through.
I got so much pleasure from doing and stacking and being engaged in absolutely every activity.
I didn’t want to miss out. And I also wanted to do really well in all aspects of life.
Inevitably there would come a crashing down period. Perhaps that was my version of balance being restored.
Naturally, I think we start to crave something more even grounded, less pendulum like, after a while.
It’s just that then we tend to pour all our “doing” into seeking that sense of “balance” like it’s something we can ultimately control.
It’s like wishing for a sunny day and then getting annoyed with yourself when it’s raining instead.
You’re so desperate for it, yet the very moment the sun does come out you’re already worrying about how long it will last.
Why is it that we do this to ourselves?
It’s not so much that balance is out of our control, it’s that it’s more of a mirage or illusion that we’re chasing.
We feel like once we’re “balanced” everything will be okay. And those feelings we’re craving will simply slot into place.
It keeps us constantly focused on a future state instead of noticing the right now.
And that’s what will trip you up. Because when you’re stuck in future mode it just causes us to feel more stressed and get trapped in that cycle of “I’m not there yet”.
But you can’t be there because you’re right here.
What if instead, your pursuit was more intentionally set in how you want to feel and what you want to experience rather than the arrival itself?
What is it that the “balance” would give you that you’re craving so much?
In my workshop rooms I always tend to open with a question of what brought you here today.
So often the word balance comes up. People want to feel more balanced. Yet when I ask what that means, or what it looks like, or how they would know, it’s less clear.
And I think that’s what keeps us stuck in a flux.
You know you want things to be different, but you’re not so sure yet what different is.
I really focus in on this conversation in my online course, BLOOM, because it’s the one we’re skipping having with ourselves. This clarity is critical and it’s where we focus entirely in Lesson 1.
Because without knowing what you really want, you’ll just keep feeling like you’re not there yet.
Want to get started right now? Start by asking yourself: How will I feel when I have balance? What will be different?
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