A couple of years ago my partner and I had just renegotiated our lease for our home. We’d already been in the place for two years and were in love. It was a definite YES to continue the agreement. We’d agreed another two year term then I woke up the next day to a confusing email.
The rental agency notifying us we had six weeks to vacate the property. Confused (we’d literally just agreed terms the night before) I phoned them up straight away, thinking it must just been someone having an off day and forgetting to check our files fully.
It was right.
They were terminating our lease.
Out of the blue.
To cut a long story short our landlord and the agency were “breaking up” which meant we were stuck in the middle and had to move out in order for the them to finalise their relationship.
I was furious. And completely shaken up. I didn’t want to move! This was my home! I had so much in my diary for the next six weeks how was I suppose to even consider moving house?
Stressed, anxious and full of tears I tried to muster enough strength to call my partner. He already knew. He’d done exactly what I’d don’t and phoned them up immediately to clarify. Except he didn’t want to tell me over the phone knowing how upset I’d be.
That night we sat on the couch in stunned silence.
Rage fluctuating to sadness to stress to confusion.
And slowly as the emotions released I realised we had a big choice to make. Either I allow the fury over something completely out of my control to lead the way for my next move, or I accept that there are some things out of my control.
I started to talk about what we could do about it. Who could look up rentals when. What type of place we’d consider living in. We mapped out the areas of responsibility that would need to be taken care of: house search, packing boxes, cleaning, shuffling money, booking a van.
I realised that while I didn’t like the project in front of me, choosing to feel good about the process was the only choice that would give me the outcome I truly desired: to live in a beautiful place I could call home.
So we agreed to make the process fun. To ditch the anger and to accept the situation for what it was.
The next morning I woke up feeling calm. Almost excited for the adventure ahead. And then, this thought popped into my head – a completely new one that hadn’t dawned on me before – what if we just asked the landlord if he wanted to rent directly to us? We loved the place. We treated it as our own. Frankly there was nothing in the area even remotely close to what I would want to call my home. I’d do anything to stay.
And so, we did.
And, to cut another long story short, he said yes. We still had to “move out” officially and then “move back in”. But it was so worth it.
Here’s the big take home message – when you choose to feel good about your circumstances new outcomes present themselves to you that you may never have been open to.
When you choose to feel good despite your challenges, those sensations of calmness in your body allow you to relax enough to get things done. To see things more clearly. And to focus on what’s most important to you.
You can do hard things and still choose to feel good.
Give it a go next time you’re feeling wound up about something. Ask yourself How could I choose to feel good right now? and see what unravels for you.