For too long I worried about what others thought, said yes to things I didn’t want to, or didn’t know I didn’t want to at the time (until I was doing them thinking why is this so heavy?), or simply pushed through something because I thought it was the done thing.
Turns out there’s so much about doing what makes me feel good, and knowing what those things are in the first place, that make me a much nicer person to hang around with. ?
Plus when I do things more in the way that makes sense and feels right for me everything else just seems more in flow. I’m more energised. More joyful. Way less stressed.
Here’s just five of the things I’ve learnt about myself that make a difference to how I make decisions – from what work to take on, to what to put in my social calendar, through to knowing when I just need a break.
- I unashamedly love to spend Friday nights in. My idea of a date night is take-out, the couch and an early bedtime. I used to say yes to drinks after work, late night movies, or socialising just because I thought that’s what you’re suppose to do it’s Friday after all! But, it turns out, come Friday (even now that I run my own business) I need down time. And my version of that is staying in.
- I like to feel good when I’m watching a movie (or TV show, or theatre production, or, well, anything really). Which means no, I’m not going to get all excited about the latest Netflix show that everyone is raving about, if it means people are being mean to each other, there’s general violence or simply too much drama. I like to feel good. And when I’m tuning out to TV or a movie I just want to giggle, get energised, and feel good. (I even wrote a Blog about how much I love rom-coms, check it out here if you like feeling good too ?).
- I like good coffee. Like really good coffee. And I will just not order a coffee if it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be ‘up to standard’. Yep, I’m that girl. And unashamedly so. It’s one of my ‘things’ and I’ve realised over time that saying yes to something I don’t like just doesn’t fill me up, nor does it end up feeling that good for those around me either. So, why not practice with the seemingly small things like coffee (‘cept it’s not that small because it’s kinda a big deal to me ?).
- I don’t run. I’m not a runner. I’m not going to sign up to a 5k, a 10k or a half marathon. Yep, even if it is for charity. It’s just not my thing. It doesn’t feel good to me. What feels good to me is stretching on a yoga mat, hugging a bolster or walking by the river (or any body of water really).
- My preferred bedtime is 10pm at the latest. And I’d much rather absolutely any social occasion or outing to incorporate enough time for me to finish, get home, wind down and still manage a cup of tea before bedtime. Even if that means eating dinner at 6pm. I’m just happiest when bedtime is in my control.
What do you know about yourself? And how much of that are you already giving to yourself? Try this week to notice what happens when you say yes to the things that really matter to you (like 10pm bedtimes) and how it feels when you prioritise you first. It may not feel comfortable at first, but I promise you the moment you follow through the relief kicks in. And, the more you do it, the more energising it becomes.
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