Advice for getting started with dating yourself

The Daisy Patch Blog: Advice for getting started with dating yourself

Following on from my post last week about ‘the terrifying act of having coffee alone’, I thought I would share a few tips on ways to get started on doing the things that scare you most. While my experience was through coffee dates alone at cafes, yours could come through many other channels. The steps below are just as applicable!

  1. Find something you just LOVE doing, no matter how big or small. Maybe you love coffee. Maybe you love walks in the park. Maybe you love reading gossip magazines while sipping on cups of tea. You’ll know you’re onto the right thing for you, because it’ll feel kinda scary. The thought of committing to doing it may feel a little like you’re being naughty, or even feel completely terrifying!
  2. Start small. Do this thing you LOVE. One day a week. For 10 mins when you remember. Whatever it is you need. Just be sure to schedule it in and start somewhere.
  3. If the thing you love doing involves being in public, like mine was for sitting at a café, take a journal or a book with you in the beginning. Simple way to hold on to a security blanket at the start. You’ll soon notice you don’t need it. 😉
  4. Adopt a mantra. Turns out nobody actually cares that much about whether you’re sitting at a café alone, choosing to say no to a social invite so you can sit on the couch and read gossip mags, or going for a walk alone. They’re way more worried about themselves and what you may think of them! Adopt a mantra to remind yourself this. You have no control over what other people think about you anyhow. So you may as well focus on YOU. One of mine that has been a constant and really helps is “It’s okay to be me” or “Just go for it”. You’ll find something that fits just right for you. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Find a way to turn up the dial. Now that you’ve dipped your toe in the water, find a way to raise the bar. Maybe that means a longer session, more often, fixed time slot in your diary. Or maybe that means now finding an additional activity to engage yourself in that scares you a little (or a lot!).


Are you terrified of having coffee alone? Let us know how you go with your version of ‘dating’ yourself, we’d love to hear! Plus if you’ve got value out of this post and have someone in your life who you just know could do with some self-love and confidence, share this with them or let them know to sign up to our mailing list. We share plenty of great tips, insights and life lessons that could be just the thing they need to hear today.