My big sister was diagnosed with breast cancer not quite two years ago. As she puts it, she got the “old ladies breast cancer”, the one that shows up at 60+ years but she was just 41 years. To say I’ve learnt a few things from her journey is a HUGE understatement.
She’s brought humour, strength, and above all else LOVE.
She’s the one that really crystallised for me what it actually means to choose LOVE over FEAR. I’d read about it. Heard Oprah and Tony Robbins talk about it. And they’re my most highly regarded mentors. Yet up until then I hadn’t explored it in deep practice.
I had considered it, loved the concept, totally got how the brain was wired and that in moments of panic and fear that it was truly a choice. I’d even probably ‘tried it on’ quite a few times and thought I was pretty ace at it.
There’s that old saying – or perhaps it’s just something people have been repeatedly saying for years? – that you don’t truly know something until you’ve fully experienced it. In short, her message to me, us, her family and loved ones, was simple.
“Please choose love, not fear”.
She’s journaled and diarised everything from discovery and diagnosis to regular updates on highs and lows and everything in between. Sharing it all with a private group that’s grown over time. Openly. Honestly. And always, always, with love. She refers to those first few weeks as being the time “I once had cancer for two weeks”.
And it has been so incredibly warming to be witness to the journey. (I’ve been searching for the right word to capture the feeling here, warming was the closest I could get. It’s like this deep sense of gratitude, connection and pride).
So when she told me she’d stumbled into a book writing workshop somewhat accidentally, not fully realising what it was and what she was walking herself into, I couldn’t help but let out a huge big knowing grin. It just felt so right.
Because her story is so worth sharing. It’s not even really about cancer come to think of it.
In so many ways it’s still her story to tell. So it’s not my place to put more words into her journey right now.
What I will say is that she’s one of those people in my life that just does stuff. She says she’s going on a champagne tour in Champagne, she does it. She says she’s building a chicken run in her garden, she does it. She says she’s writing a book, she does it.
Some of it’s the kinda stuff that you and me put off. We say we’re going to do it, yet it never quite ‘happens’. Signing up to the gym. Quitting our job. Taking that course.
And some of it’s the scarier stuff. That takes full on commitment. Like speaking in public about your cancer journey. Saying the hard stuff to a loved one that just needs to be said.
She still does it.
And it’s quite funny really, because most of the time she commits herself before even thinking about it. She says it, then it’s done. Then she freaks out a little (!) and then she just does it.
So when she told me yesterday that not only is the book going ahead and well on track, but that she’s also committed to a 48 hour writers’ retreat where you have to commit to pre-sell your book—I could only grin with more glee.
So what can we all learn from my big sister?
You can always, always, choose LOVE over FEAR.
And you always, always, have a choice to follow through and do the thing that truly matters to you.
Regardless of how much you are freaking out.
And, if you want even more insights into what it’s like to choose love over fear, even at those times in your life where things like cancer show up—you might just like to be included in her pre-sell interest list. (You can email me directly and I’ll share more details).
Anyone can choose love over fear and when you’ve created that kinda awareness in your life, so much can shift. Who could you share this with today to bring more love in to their lives? We’d love for you to click a link below on pass it on.