Feeling Like A Fraud and Getting All Judgy

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Feeling Like A Fraud and Getting All Judgy

It’s amazing how quickly one thought can unravel you.

Like yesterday, when I got off a call from a friend and realised I was already full swing into judgement mode. Of myself, not them. We were discussing all things life business right now and he asked me if I was ‘challenging myself enough’. Not such a strange question amongst my coaching friends, often welcomed with open arms actually.

And I skirmed immediately.

Usually a good sign for me, that I’m being stretched outside of my comfort zone, I’m growing.

And maybe it’s because I have really high standards for myself and so I’m beating myself up for not stretching enough, but, there was a lot of truth in my response (i.e. the skirm).

Then he asked me something else, “You meditate right?” he said.

Gulp.

“Yep, yep” I responded.

But then skirmed, this time on the inside. Because well, yea, I do meditate. But it’s not like it’s everyday. And when I do sometimes I get annoyed and switch off the timer early. So that must mean I’m not really doing it, right?

So yes, I do meditate. But am I meeting my own high standards right now? Probably not. But I also recognise the slippery slope to judging myself on all my should.

I’m a life coach. I should be stretching and growing and challenging myself, always.

I teach about wellness. I should meditate.

I help people reclaim their lives from things like ‘busy’ and ‘people pleasing’. I should feel calm and relaxed all the time and certainly never busy. I should have it all together.

But I don’t.

At least not all the time.

What I do have is at least an accelerated speed of return. Enough words and awareness inside of me to realise when I’m allowing those thoughts and judgement to unravel me.

Writing helps.

Acknowledging the thoughts and feelings really helps.

Sometimes even a good cry helps.

Mostly I like to surround myself with easy access to learning. Things that remind me to come back to myself. Maybe it’s reminder post-it notes (I can handle it), or maybe it’s journaling, or even listening to a podcast that immediately makes me think through a growth-lens. How can I look at this differently? How can I return to see my own value and worth?

The unraveling may just be part of the deal. But you get to choose what to do with it.

Stay shoulding, or realise that hey we’ve all probably felt like a fraud at some point. We’ve all judged ourselves. Thought we could do better. And gone into a spiral. I may not have it together all the time, and I may even get all judgy about myself, but I also know my worth. And I’m choosing to return to it again and again. I am good enough. I am worthy. And what I do matters.

And I know that you are too. And what you do does too.

 

Know a friend who can get all unraveled in their thoughts? Share this post with them to let them know how worthy and enough they are too. ❤️

Danielle Brooker
Danielle Brooker
Danielle left the shores of Australia, venturing on a journey which found her finally following her heart and landing in London. Years of feeling stuck, unworthy and burnt out herself, she’s been on her own path of self-discovery. Passionate about growth, great coffee and all things wellbeing, her life coaching business, The Daisy Patch, now helps others who are stuck – wanting to reclaim their lives from ‘busy’, reconnect with themselves and experience life fully.
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