The Five Questions I’ve asked Myself to gain deeper connection

Who am I?

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself this question? In some ways it’s the question I keep coming back to in different evolutions of myself. Is this who I want to be? Am I connected right now to all of me?

For the blog this week I wanted to share something a little different. In my own journey to feeling like I know myself more and seeking a deeper sense of connection there are key questions that I’ve been asked along the way. Ones that have hit a chord at the time and opened me up to a whole new way of thinking. They’ve often reached me at points in my life where I’ve been feeling particularly stuck, at my lowest point of not knowing how I could possibly move forward. Of feeling really lost, like I’ve disconnected not just from myself but from those around me too. They have become pillars for me to return to over and over again. A way to check in with myself to really know that I’m being true to me.

So, here goes, my five favourite questions that have triggered a deeper sense of connection with myself:

What’s this really about?

This one is a kicker! I mean, ouch! When you’re feeling at your worst it may hurt just a little bit more to admit that this ‘thing’ is really at its heart about not feeling like you’re good enough, or that you don’t belong, or you’re not feeling loved. However working out the how from this place is so much more powerful. You’ve identified the root cause and not just the symptoms of what’s keeping you stuck. Ask softly and be curious about the answer. After all, you are only human and therefore it’s only natural you’re going to have a few fears show up.

What lights you up?

I’ve said in previous posts, ‘what lights you up will show you the way’. Really spending time checking in with yourself around the energy you have during certain activities, or with particular friends you catch up with, or conversations that keep you talking for hours. There are soooo many nuggets of gold in exploring this. It’s just that we haven’t been listening to this wisdom within us for so long when you first ask the question the response could just be a little quite. Stick with it. There’s stacks of answers here. And you may start to find a theme developing. Or not. Either way you’ll start to recognise what makes you come alive in life and you’ll have a stronger reason to start prioritising those things more.

What’s the one thing that could make the biggest difference right now?

Oh my. Warning. This one can actually be life changing. At least it was for me. The realisation in my answer to this question was tough. I realised that what I most needed was a ‘pause’ in my life, space to just ‘be’. I was so stressed and this was impacting my physically. The answer felt impossible at the time. And yet the pure fact that I had voiced it out loud as the answer gave it weight. You don’t have to do the answer. But you sure will have a new perspective in knowing it.

If you knew you could handle anything in life, what would you do right now?

Not that dissimilar from the above question. This one just poses more possibility, more excitement, more future focus. Sometimes (okay more than sometimes!) we stop ourselves from doing the things that really matter in life because we’re afraid we won’t be able to handle things. So what if you could handle things? What does that open up for you? What looks and feels different? Fun, right?!

How do I want to feel?

Ahhhh. This one. Mmmmmm. It’s a big one. Let it sink in. Chances are you’ve never really thought to ask yourself this before. Perhaps you’ve asked, what do I want to do? Or what do I need to achieve? Or what do I want to have? But feel?! Although we trick ourselves into believing that the more we have or the more we’ve done the better life will be. In actual fact, what we’re seeking in life is to feel good. Sounds simple, yet we often overlook it. Life is made up of moments of experiences and the more we can focus on how we want to feel during these experiences, the more we’ll be able to create the life we want.

What’s your favourite question you’ve been asked before? And which of these five resonates most for you right now?


Know someone in your life who is looking to get unstuck and move forward? Share this post with them, these questions may help them take that first step.