When there’s a rumble there’s a rumble right? Like when those voices get going inside your head they multiply pretty darn quickly. Like they’re each reminding each other “oh yea, make sure you bring that up too!”.
I live a pretty happy life. If anyone ever asks me “how are you?” I can genuinely say I’m great. I love my schedule, I love my partner, I love the work that I do, I love my city I live in, I love my family. My life is full of richness in so many ways. The voices though, they’re still there.
And the more I implement all that I learn be that in business or personal development or just life learning itself, the more I come to realise that these voices are always going to be there.
Today I’m fighting them a little, and for a moment there they almost toppled me. One thing showed up and the others started chiming in. I felt a little lost, I didn’t know how to literally ‘get myself up’ again in the moment.
I’ve been out for the morning, done a few things to feel productive and then allowed myself to go into the rabbit hole on my phone … you know the one. Where you click through every possible thing in order to just see if you can catch a connection. Facebook, emails, Instagram, Messenger, let me quickly flick back to my emails just in case… And before you know it an hour has passed and you’re left feeling cranky and annoyed.
Why did I do it?
I know why. I was triggered. I know myself well enough now to at least realise that a trigger goes off for me in order for me to get hooked into behaviour that doesn’t serve me.
Triggers aren’t always that big, nor even that recognisable. I just know that one of my ‘areas’ is connection. So for whatever reason, I made something mean that I was disconnected. When I received a message from a loved one, before I even ‘caught myself’ I had triggered my behaviour of feeling a little isolated, like I hadn’t done a good enough job, and that therefore I wasn’t ‘enough’.
This happened in a flash.
Then I’m in the rabbit hole.
And it’s not until after (like right now) I’m connecting the dots. Hmmm. Message. Twinge in heart. Question in head (the voices get going). Pick up phone. Scroll, click, scroll, click.
You’re probably wondering now how did I get out of the rabbit hole right?
Well, I would be wondering that!
Because I don’t even like being in the hole. I’m not talking about the productive-feel-good-doing-it-consciously-and-on-purpose scrolling, I’m talking about the frantic clicking, mindlessly in order to feel different, to get a little hit and boost of an emotion (other than the scared disconnected one that the voices are stirring up).
So, here’s the big secret. The grand reveal per se.
I asked myself a question in that moment.
No wait, first I let out a big groan! (Yes, I’m being serious).
It went something like this:
“What are you doing?”
Put the phone down. Lifted my body off my bed.
“Okay. You’ve got this. What would you do if you were the best in the world right now?”
The voices were interrupted.
They had to think about something else you see. They had to get into problem solving brain storming mode.
The answer came:
“You would go for a walk (move your body), learn something new (chuck on a podcast or youtube interview with a mentor), or you’d get something done (like chunky, write a blog post, tick off something that you’ve been dragging around, rip the bandaid off, just do it!).”
And, just like that, I interrupted the pattern. With a simple question.
And yes, this time I was in the rabbit hole for way longer than I would have liked. But I didn’t get stuck there.
I’ve got a stash of ‘interruptors’ up my sleeve these days for moments like this. And I’m not just talking about scrolling mindlessly moments. Questions can be such a great tool for interrupting those voices and catching yourself after a trigger has been pushed in so many other situations too.
After all, our brains are firing off signals to keep us safe, hence why a lot of the time the trigger goes and we’re in the behaviour before we even know it.
However, it doesn’t mean we have to stay there. Nor does it mean we have to even go there next time.
If your voices show up unannounced and they’re so not welcome, what question could you ask yourself that would interrupt them?
You’re welcome to start with that one of mine: What would you do if you were the best in the world?. (It’s one of my faves I first learnt from one of my mentors, Marie Forleo, and it’s worked a charm for me). And if you want even more, email me now and I’ll give you my favourite ten questions to interrupt. 😉
Lend a hand to a friend and get them out of that rabbit hole too! 😉 Share this post with them today.