This morning I woke up with a start. Panic washed over me. I immediately went into “What have I forgotten?” mode.
I stretched over to push the light on my alarm clock, somehow sensing that knowing the time would orient me again in time and space.
Hours until my first coaching session of the day. No forgotten meetings. I wasn’t running late. So why the panic?
It took me a few moments to readjust. Take a few breaths and more calmly and intentionally place my feet on the ground.
A soothing thought washed over me:
I get to choose.
Today was up to me. How did I want to feel?
In my old job I used to wake up anxious like this every day. Worrying about what I might have forgotten to complete, or follow up on. The alarm sound inducing a gentle, underlying yet persistent anxiousness.
That “doof doof” of my heartbeat would take a full morning of getting ready to eventually soften.
My thoughts would immediately race from: what have I forgotten, to what needs doing, how much can I get through today, to what’s next? what’s next? what’s next?
Years after I changed careers and was working full time for myself, I’d still wake up with that familiar, uncomfortable pang of a start to the day.
And then, the realisation would wash over me—I get to choose.
Busyness for me disguised itself for many years as wanting to do my best. So even when I woke up with that heart-gripping feeling my “soothing” talk to myself would still come from a place of “keep doing”.
I’d tell myself everything would be okay when I finished everything, or just got through this particularly busy period. Then the feeling would go away.
Great news is—you don’t have to wait years to rid yourself of that jolt-start to your day. You get to start right now, no matter what is going on for you.
When I started to acknowledge that I had a choice that feeling dissipated. I talk more about this In my book, Freedom from Busy, I talk about something I call “choice theory” and how applying it can give you back your sense of calm, and certainty. Click here to purchase your copy today.