Have you ever had that feeling when you walk away from a catch up with someone and you just feel worse than you did when you arrived? Drained even? Or just like someone has smudged the edges of the image of your life? Dampened?
I was talking to a friend recently about this feeling. We both identified so well with it. In fact as I type this I realise there’s been more than one conversation I’ve had recently on this. So I know I’m not the only one who has felt like this before!
Perhaps it’s because over the past few weeks I’ve had so much time with the people who make me feel lighter, energised, excited about life. That the contrast frame is more extreme. I realise even more so than before that these are my peeps. These are the ones that I want to prioritise, give more of my time to and have feelings of them in my life more.
Jim Rohn (and many others since) said we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. And this has really resonated with me. I’ve become more conscious over the years and noticing how I feel after being in someone’s presence. And no I’m not suggesting that if you don’t get along with your boss then it means you need to ditch your job (although that could also be a viable option!). What I’m saying is that paying attention to how we feel is soooo important. And yet most of us struggle to identify what that even means. So I’m really only teasing when I suggest that the people that zap your energy or you walk away from feeling deflated are ‘energy vampires’. In fact it’s not really them at all. It’s just that up until that point you probably haven’t taken much notice or acknowledge how you feel when you’re around them.
Energy levels can be such a great trigger or warning alarm for you to know that something needs to shift. Yet moving from deflation to elation is not as simple as jumping straight to a change and expecting to magically feel great. Because the more you avoid feeling the more it comes back in greater strength.
- Acknowledge – feelings and emotions are there to tell us something. We must feel them in order to heal them. Which means beign still for a moment and actually asking ‘how do I feel right now?’.
- Accept – most of us have grown up thinking that good feelings are good and bad feelings are bad. Actually feelings are simply feelings. As in step 1, they’re there to tell us something. Accepting them for what they are immediately releases the pressure for you to feel otherwise. Plus it gets yo unstuck faster because you’re no longer pushing something away you’re able to move again.
- Change – not all feelings need to make it to this step. In fact lots of the time I’d say simply acknowledging my emotions and accepting them in the moment is all I need to feel better. To feel more in control of my life and how I want to experience it. And other times I know it’s an indication that I can move in a different direction, or evolve. The change isn’t sustainable without the healing or simple acknowledging first.
So before you race to slay the vampires in your life, start here. Start with feelings. Start with YOU. Acknowledge what shows up for you on a daily basis and simply get to know that everything in between from the ‘good’ to the ‘bad’ is okay.
If you want to explore this further join us on 11 October, 7-8pm, British Summer Time for a free webinar – Getting back to your true self. CLICK HERE to register, with a simple “I’m in!”. We’ll handle the rest 😉