I can hardly believe I’m writing this post. Me? How have I got here? I feel like I’m the one who is looking at others ‘always’ on their phones and wondering why they’re not stopping to take int heir days, how they’re become addicted and too involved in a life that is not present. And yet here I am reaching for both my phone and my laptop at the same time. Desperately looking for some form of connection? Is that it? No, maybe it’s ‘feel goodness’? Not quite, either. I’m really not sure… It’s certanily looking for a distraction. A momentary glimpse away from the feelnigs churning inside of me. A particularly self-doubty kinda week I guess. And after last week’s post I thought maybe I had ‘ridden that wave’ once and for all. Yet here I am again… reaching for my phone and my laptop at the same time and really getting that something needs to change.
I certainly notice myself seeking distractions when I’m feeling a little stretched and uncomfortable. Not all the time. Mostly when that discomfort also comes with an absolute lack of confidence or certainty in knowing what to do next. You know how sometimes you can feel uncomfortable but it’s actually, well, exciting? Almost an anxious feeling but really it’s like a feel-good-endorphin-nerves-challenge kinda hit. And then there’s, the uncomfortable feeling of just plain lost. Reaching for something and there being pure space as you reach. That’s how I’ve been feeling a little today. This week. And that’s when I reach for the distraction.
Sometimes it’s chocolate (okay a lot of the time it is chocolate) and sometimes it’s TV. And now I’ve just noticed something else – it’s my phone, it’s my laptop.
Let me set one thing straight, before you all freak out that I’m telling you to stop eating chocolate or forget about The Bachelorette once and for all (actually this week for me has been Offspring, totally worth it). ‘Cause I’m not. There is a distinct difference though between when those activities really fill you up and when they drag you down. Can you feel the difference? Sometimes I’ve had a hectic week, full diary and limited space to zone out and the moments in front of the TV are pure nourishment for my soul. The moments scrolling through Instagram light me up and get me all excited about the possibilities in life and the beauty in the world. And then… there are those other times… when engaging in the activity inevitably leaves me either feeling even more flat, anxious or frustrated or puts me right back where I started (minus the minutes or hours).
So what’s got to change? No I’m not stopping eating chocolate. (You should see how riled up I get if my partner ever suggests I do! 😉). I do need to rejig my standards. Something about the commitment I’ve made to myself to be resourceful and stretch myself so I can bring all of me to the table (aka the world) means I must find a replacement for the distraction strategy. Here’s what I’m going to try:
- Ask myself: Is this serving me right now? If no, move to Step 2.
- Break my state: Do something completely ridiculous. Laugh out loud. Jump up and down on the spot. Or turn around, no spin around and say Woooo hoooo!
- Say nice things (What would I say to my best friend right now if they were feeling ‘distracted’?): It’s all cool. That was a momentary distraction. You’ve totally got this. It’s okay that it feels tricky. One step at a time.
- Take one step towards something that fills me up. Pick something easy. Like write one email. Or go for a walk. Or text a friend and tell them how much I love them.
Yep. That feels better. Way more sustainable than what I have been running. And certainly feels like a weight is being lifted just running through that with you all now. (Thanks! 😉). Oh, I bet I’m going to need some reminders to really ingrain this new strategy this week so I can report back and let you know how it’s going. I’m going to print those 4 steps and put them up around my house.
Does my distraction strategy sound familiar to you? Have you ever found yourself drifting into another activity that just ends up weighing you down?
Let us know what you’ve done to shift into something more resourceful – head over to Facebook or Instagram now!
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