When you are searching for simplicity in life and when you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this one thing: There are only two emotions in life. Oprah says it. I’ve heard others say it. I know that the brain can only operate one of these at a time and yet recently this feels and breathes so differently for me. I get it at a whole new level and it truly does bring much more simplicity to my life.
Watching an interview with Oprah and Tony Robbins, Tony talks about states of ‘suffering’ and realising more than just knowing we have choice in life, we have choice to suffer or not. Most emotions boil down to a choice to suffer (or to be in fear), or to be in a state of love.
Anger, frustration, resentment, hurt, stress – they’re all based in fear. If you get below the surface they all really show up as a fear of not belonging, not being good enough or not being loved. This comes up for every single one of my clients (and for myself over and over and over again). When we’re digging below the surface to really get to the heart of our core selves this is the real truth. The truth that if we’re willing to accept and OWN will lead to true happiness in our lives.
So, fear or love. Which will you choose?
I’m not saying the choice always feels easy. In fact I’m often struggling to accept that there even is a choice – when I just want to BE in the struggle in some strange way there’s an element of stubbornness of ‘stuff it I want to be here’ and yet there’s no real service to myself.
It’s the toughest choice to pause in the middle of an argument I’m passionately feeling for and desperately want to be heard, to realise that actually at the heart of it what’s really showing up for me in that moment is FEAR. Fear that I’m not enough or good enough or need to show myself or have some sort of external approval. Fear that maybe I’m not connecting or being loved or what if everything in my world fails. That’s what I’m desperately clinging on to. So, to pause and digest all this and then to instead choose LOVE in that moment instead? I get that it’s not always easy.
It IS, however, rewarding, resourceful, nourishing and nurturing. It IS what I need. When I summon enough courage to move from the pause to move through the fear INTO the love… that’s when I really feel love. That’s when I feel the relief of letting go. And that’s when the true lesson kicks in. The insight I really need in that moment. That breath of fresh air without ego. When the ego settles and is quiet you can really hear your true self.
For this week, become more consciously aware of how you’re feeling in each moment. Ask yourself the question “Is this fear or is this love?” particularly when you’re feeling most stuck. Ask yourself “What’s this really about?” to see how far beneath the surface you can tap into. Because when you truly hit the core of your fears you can also hit the core of your love, the resource that once tapped will overflow into all areas of your life.
All of us experience moments of getting completely bogged down in a ‘fear’ based state. When we’re there it can feel like there’s no way out. Knowing we can shift this state and that it’s totally normal could make the world of difference to someone in your life right now. Share this post with them below!